ELECTION INTERFERENCE!!

Indictment interference seems far more plausible to me.

“ELECTION INTERFERENCE!!!”

We’ve all heard MAGA Republicans saying this shit for YEARS going all the way back to the election they thought their gold lamé lummox was actually going to lose and somehow won (well, with the help of his daddy Vladdy and a whole lot of idiots who just couldn’t decide if the guy who would go on to incite a domestic terror attack on our Capitol was the lesser of two evils or if it was the lifetime public servant unfortunate enough to have been born a woman with a last name they didn’t love, so they wrote in “Mike Hunt” instead) but I digress.

They were saying it back then, they said it in 2020, and they’re saying it now. It’s the BS claim that never ends, yes it goes on an on my friends, some people started saying it without knowing what it was, and they’ll continue saying it forever just because… (sorry Second digression, been one of those days).

But it’s true. It’s like “aloha” only in malevolent dumbfuckese. It means a myriad of things. But really, it means whatever the Qrackhead saying it WANTS it to mean.

This explainer on the applications of “ELECTION INTERFERENCE!” was taken from the MAGA picture book guide to making shit up and not giving a Fuck:

Bad hair day? ELECTION INTERFERENCE!

DUI? ELECTION INTERFERENCE!

Flyers fan? ELECTION INTERFERENCE!

Holding on to a wee bit of “water weight” the morning after pounding Rose at the boozy bridal shower brunch for the perfectly skinny, beautiful & successful cousin you’ve never measured up to but aren’t the least bit bitter about because it’s actually super fun to be asked all the time when you’re gonna get a job like Heather and hair like Heather and a future husband with a Range Rover and 4 houses and a body like Chris Hemsworth with a matching “hammer” so big it looks like an anaconda hanging out in the front of his pricey designer pants like Heather and… oh… umm… oh right… ELECTION INTERFERENCE!

Ruined the Turkey chili you told your boss you excelled at making in a moment of weakness when you wanted to say something impressive sounding about yourself when the truth was that you’ve never made Turkey chili and you don’t even know how to hard boil an egg, so you have to go to Panera and buy $200 worth of the stuff just to throw it in a Tupperware container and pass it off as your own?

Don’t worry girl, we got you. ELECTION INTERFERENCE!!