Teslas might spontaneously burst into flames… but Elon Musk is taking a blowtorch to Twitter.
Ok, I’m not gonna lie - I am actually pretty damn good at a few things. I can make a mean turkey meatball (I’m telling you guys, these things are the BOMB and I’ll tell you my secrets at the end).
I have a real skill for being able to identify the actor’s voice in a tv commercial without ever seeing their face (it’s a GREAT way to impress your friends, if you like, happen to be watching tv with them, and what you’re watching has commercials which is quite rare these days, so as far as impressive skills go, it’s definitely lost more than a little of it’s original luster, but I digress).
And I am the MASTER of the Jersey Slide (if you’re from Jersey you know what I’m talking about, and if you’re not — it’s not in fact a version of the Hustle, unless your idea of the Hustle is sliding from the far-left lane across several lanes of highway traffic all at once — with NO blinker — in a gloriously effortless (no, oblivious is not the word, where are you from, Maryland?) death-defying feat of driving skill resulting in said driver catching their right-hand exit JUST in time.
And while I’m happy to pat myself on the back all day long for skills I know I was divined by God or Jon Bon Jovi himself to have been blessed with, I also know what I’m not good at.
I do not have a head for business. Like at all. When I was in the 1st grade, I opened a Snoopy SNO-cone stand in front of my house. Which was on a cul-de-sac. With only two other houses bordering it. Mid-day. Mid-week. Mid-summer. When all the parents were working, and all the neighborhood kids were at the park or the town pool.
I had very few ice cubes, and it was a very hot day. I made one for myself. And it was exhausting. It was the only one I was able to make before the ice melted. And I didn’t see a living creature that wasn’t a dog for what felt like hours (but was probably more like 20 minutes) so the lack of supply ended up matching fairly well with the lack of demand.
And I packed up with a net loss. But I did enjoy (as much as one really could) the heck out of that SNO-cone.
So, as you can see, my business acumen is, to put it mildly, less than stellar. And it hasn’t improved since then.
I’m self-aware enough to know that I’m a total dope when it comes to business. A dunderhead. A dunce. A real ding-a-ling. My 10 year old daughter ran circles around me at our own garage sale.
And it was MY stuff we were selling.
As clueless as I am, even I KNOW, that changing the name and the instantly recognizable logo of a worldwide brand nearly two decades after it’s launch, is a really, really, REALLY stupid thing to do.
But don’t ask me. Just ask New Coke.
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