While it’s true that I mocked Klannie Oakley Lauren Boebert and Klan of Greene Gables Marge for their Jerry Springer-esque pudding wrestling, bitch calling cat fight on the House floor, and also true that I don’t typically, under “normal” circumstances, support any of that kind of juvenile behavior in our legislative bodies… I gotta make an exception for this one.
I just have to.
And I’m pretty sure, you’ll grant me this exception when I tell you what it is.
Representative Eric Swalwell, that swoon-worthy, Superhero looking, dreamy-eyed, dapper daddy, you know, the one with the commanding presence you lie in bed at night wondering about how that assertiveness shows itself in “other” applications and then suddenly he’s in your dreams holding a paddle in one hand and a… (whoa whoa wait a minute, where am I? I got a little distracted there for a second, sorry. Regrouping)… anyway… the California Congressman who has been a steadfast champion for our very democracy… well, he did something a while back, and I believe it to be rather noteworthy.
He called Kevin McCarthy a pussy.
He called that craven, cowardly, cuck a pussy.
He called the Speaker-in-name-only, the fucker who KNOWS that trump was responsible for January 6th, the one we KNOW knows that because we have his own fucking words in his own fucking voice saying so, the one who took that clear-eyed ‘the sky is in fact blue and the clouds aren’t made out of marshmallows’ notion of the Fucking truth which we all witnessed unfold, down to the Yam-dyed-dotard’s gilded roach motel… only to then bend down, take a knee, and grovel at the feet of the guy he weeks earlier said should resign, a pussy.
And frankly, it’s fucking glorious.
Although, it’s incumbent upon me to mention that it is a bit unfair to pussies to make such an unfortunate comparison. As the owner of one I could be accused of having a bit of personal bias on the subject, but look, I’m just gonna say it anyway… pussies are awesome. Largely speaking anyway. I’m sure there are some out there which one could argue, are not in fact, awesome. But as someone who has never had the extremely bad luck to have encountered a lackluster pussy, I’m going with basing my assessment on my own experience. And that leads me to the conclusion that they are in fact, generally more enjoyable to come across, and certainly much more useful than Kevin fucking McCarthy, but I digress.
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