It really is unfair to sheep to make the comparison.

In Trump they trust.

“Baaaa hey Sally, I think that’s a cliff ahead and we’re baaa running straight for it and that could be baaaaad…” worries Sam Sheep

“But Farmer Trump says it’s safe baaaa and that even if the woke goats tell us it’s a cliff, we baaa shouldn’t believe them baaa, because they hate us and he loves us and so that’s why we give him all our wool to pay for his big house and his big tractor and his wife’s big… kidneys baaa and we don’t have a barn anymore or food or water, but he loves us baa…” Sally Sheep said reassuringly.

And that was when, as they continued to run with the rest of the herd, they passed a big neon sign which read (in sheep) “DANGER CLIFF AHEAD!!”

Sally looked at Sam, who shrugged.

“Fake ewes.” He said with an eyeroll.

And the herd kept running.

And that’s when they came across one of their favorite Fox alternative Sheep Tv personalities — Savannah Sheepgraham. Savannah was there with a camera man who was filming, and they overheard her say, just as they ran past, “This will prove to be a real test of the herd’s loyalty to Trump Sheep. Will they peel off for what might be a safer pasture over on Ron DeSheepis’ farm, or will they continue to run towards the cliff? Let’s watch…”

Sam looked at Sally.

“She’s a SINO… (sheep in name only)…” Sally said with a hint of worry in her voice.

And the herd kept running.

And there, just ahead, they could see their parents and their friends and even the Pastor from the First Baaapist Church of Sheeplandia. And they were waving their arms around wildly, shouting: “SAM, SALLY… TURN BACK THERE IS A BAAAA CLIFF AHEAD AND EWE WILL FALL TO YOUR DEATHS!! WE LOVE YOU, TURN AROUND!!!”

Sam slowed down.

He looked at his mom.

She was pleading with him to turn around.

“Mom…” he called out, “Farmer Trump says we must trust him. Only he can save us!”

Sally Sheep chimed in, “We can’t trust her. She doesn’t believe that Farmer Trump won the top prize baaa at the fair in a lambslide either. Run faster, Sam!”

Sam put his nose down and ran faster.

That’s when he looked up to see that the pasture ahead of them appeared to suddenly end. And, what was happening to the rest of the herd, where were they going? They seemed to be disappearing… over the side of… a… CLIFF!!!!!

“SALLY!!! I SEE IT!! I SEE A CLIFF!!!” He shouted.

“Impossible.” Sally said.

“LOOK!!” Sam said.

And that’s when Sally saw it too.

A cliff.

They could stop running and save themselves, or they could trust what Farmer Trump had always told them:

“Do not believe your own lying eyes and ears. Believe only me!”

And so they pushed forward. And in that split second as the ground vanished beneath their feet before they plummeted to their deaths in the valley far below, they thought, for that one fleeting second, that Farmer Trump would actually save them. That he had a plan.