JD Vance wants to talk about bullies does he?

Ok, let’s go there.

Just sitting here thinking about JD Vance accusing the left of bullying when he’s only on the ticket because Trump tried to get a violent mob to hang the last guy…

A bit of backstory before I dive in here though, because if they handed out military ranks for being bullied, I’m pretty sure I’d be like a Brigadier General or something. I have no doubt there are many who’ve been bullied far more than me, so I won’t award myself the very highest honor, but Lordy would I be close.

After all, I have been unintentionally working towards this honor for the bulk of my life. If we count my mom, who was really more of an abuser than your classic textbook bully (not that anyone is splitting hairs here) I’ve been ridiculed, mocked, derided and put down since I was just a wee little loud mouth peanut who wanted to play with some gold strappy heels even though I knew I wasn’t allowed to.

And then thanks to mom leaving when I was just 4, and the fact that neither my dad nor my four big siblings had the time to teach me about hygiene, I became that kid in school… you know THAT kid. Yes, yes — I was indeed, the smelly kid. Within a week of starting kindergarten, an entire school bus of my peers changed the words to Kool & The Gang‘s “Joanna” from “You're the one, the one for me” to “you’re the one, the one who smells.”

As an aside, even though that sucked something awful for me, in retrospect, I have to give them some credit for creativity, and their coordinated messaging ground game was impressive, especially given the fact that at least 50% of those goobers couldn’t even spell their own names yet, but I digress.

They never really relented in their attacks at that school. So by the time I was in second or third grade, and making my way around the blacktop in the hefty bag witch costume my grandmother had made me, the “Hefty bag” taunts were bouncing right off. It also could have been that I was literally covered in plastic bags, but I’d like to think it my internal fortitude instead. (Maybe it was a bit of both).

Here’s the thing though - I never let them see me cry. I need to just put that out there front and center, because it’s something which I decided on immediately and have never strayed from. No matter how I cried alone at home, no one ever saw their attacks landing. I was too damn stubborn to let them have that.

That was true in my next school, when I was called “Pepé Le Pew” by my brand new school “friends.” Not only weren’t they going to see me cry, when one of them scuffed up my brand new white high top sneakers, I popped him in the nose right in front of the principal, who remained speechless.

It was true in high school when they called me “thunder thighs”, “liberty bell” and “sleeping bag gag” (that one was extra special).

I’d always keep my chin up. Always keep smiling. Keep making people laugh. Never, ever would anyone know they were getting through, no matter the tsunami of darkness I battled every single night in the quiet of my room when I just wanted it all to end.

My point here isn’t to make anyone feel sorry for me. I don’t feel sorry for me. No, I wouldn’t choose it on a menu of options if offered, but I can’t change it, and frankly, all of that shit has made me who I am today, and I know I’m tough as hell. My point is that I know bullies. I know the one thing bullies want more than anything in the whole world, is to see that their bullying has worked. And like I said, I happen to be such a pig-headed, immovable, intractable brat that I would sooner publicly bottle up every ounce of pain I’ve ever felt over the years of abuse I have ever endured than let my abuser get the satisfaction of believing their punches were landing.

Even if they really were.

I’m an unfortunate expert on the subject, but when it comes to Donald Trump, you don’t have to have ever been bullied to know instantly that’s exactly what he is. He’s every bully in every movie, tv show, comic strip and kids cartoon. He’s the quintessential bully.

So, JD Vance projecting that word onto Harris and Walz is next level hypocritical gaslightpalooza.

And while it is often true that repeating their lies helps them spread further, on this one particular issue, it’s like like lowering the net to 4 feet, handing a ball to LeBron and challenging him to dunk it.

Because Rocky Horror Picture Vance’s running mate is arguably the biggest schoolyard bully in the history of the universe. (The best people say so).

So, let’s have a look at that shall we?

[Jo stretches, cracks knuckles].

The guy literary ran on, and then tried to implement, a ban on Muslims entering our country.

He said Mexicans were rapists…