Mike Johnson is far worse than Gym Jordan in a Brooks Brothers suit.

And the unicorn that is the “moderate” Republican.

Every time you think you’ve seen all of the newly minted House Speaker Mike Johnson’s awfulness, a new noxious layer reveals itself, inexplicably more appalling than the last.

The guy is a bloomin’ onion of repugnance in a well-tailored suit & tax attorney glasses.

As an aside, he also totally gives off Indiana Jones Nazi bad guy melty-facey villain vibes but I digress.

He’s got so many layers of “holy shit, he’s even worse than we thought” — he makes puff pastry look one-dimensional by comparison.

He’s exactly the kind of MAGA Republican we’ve long feared — as extreme as any of them, arguably more so in fact, but without the frothing at the mouth, ‘God, Guns and Babies Yall!’ Trump rally tailgate sleeveless flannel single-toothed theatrics energy of the more attention-hungry cult members like Gym Jordan and Marjorie Taylor Greene.

He seems, at first glance to be, well… benign.

When he’s anything but.

He’s a rabidly anti-choice, racist, sexist, woman-hating, Christian nationalist, fascist fan boying homophobe who also just so happens to be the architect of the plot to overturn the 2020 election in the House, the same House he’s now well… in charge of.

How it is that someone who is so unapologetically devout that he is compelled to lead a public prayer sesh on the House floor can square his piety with trying to steal an election for a thrice married, serial philanderer who mocked a disabled man, bragged about sexual assault and opines often about boning his own daughter, I’ll never know. Aside from the racism thing, which, is a very powerful thing as far as especially awful things go.

But it occurs to me that someone who actually seems to believe that he was “ordained by God himself” to ascend to the Speakership, probably also believes that every evil deed he’s knowingly, willingly and eagerly doing, is justifiable. Because it’s the outcome “God wants”, and if the outcome is achieved, then all the sins committed to get there, will be absolved. They were after all, undertaken in the service of the Lord and whatnot.

Think about all the grotesqueness you can pass off as “ultimately worthwhile” if you’re like, ‘Yeah, God knows I gotta do this shit so that we can make sure women are subservient again, and homosexuals are stoned and people of color are enslaved and we white men can finally return our great nation to the patriarchal God-loving kingdom it once was.’

I mean, maybe MAGA Mike believes this shit. It’s likelier that he doesn’t, and instead, that he’s just using it as his pathway to power (and that whole white Christian patriarchy thing).

This is nothing new. It’s been mutating since other folks started getting some of the once baked into the cake rights those white dudes had. This is simply the newest strain of the same man-cave-lab-created Christo-Fascist virus that’s been around for ages.

The virus which was created to push back against the natural evolution of society. To oppress the natural progression towards diversity. They needed to and need to now, stop the natural watering-down of the concentration of power residing in their own hands.

In other words: Old white Christian dudes were like: “Y’all, we gotta do something, cuz these women folk ain’t lettin me control them no more, and they’re standing up to me now, and those other folks are coming to take my shit, and we can’t have any of that, so we gotta put the fear of GOD in them!!!”

And they’re still saying all of it now. You see it everywhere. In school board candidates saying we need “biblical Justice” in schools, not social Justice.

You see it in Beetlejuicing Boebert saying “The church is supposed to direct the government, not the other way around. That is not how our Founding Fathers intended it.” (Narrator: she’s a Fucking idiot).

You see it in Donald Trump turning his rallies into Mega-churches, with music and prayer — where he gets to play “pastor” when the truth is that the guy thinks the whole fucking thing is the oldest con in the book.

Just watch this scary-ass video the melon-hued messiah put out recently about how “God needs him…” and how “your faith is a force our enemies can never, ever extinguish…”

This coming from the guy who commits more sins before breakfast than Charlie Sheen averages in a week. The guy who spends his Sundays worshipping at the Holy Trinity of the Birdie, the Eagle & the Albatross church.

https://x.com/andyostroy/status/1718031816995606943?s=46&t=0jhpxQw9pD9FCcEuf7-TIQ

Not to mention the traveling faith healers tour where Mike Flynn & MeinPillow Lindell pass a collection plate around to help Peter Navarro pay his lawyers for the very un-Christian-like crimes he’s committed. And they’re usually joined by that weirdo lady “Julie” who says “God speaks to her” and says shit like, “All will soon be revealed and Donald Trump shall avenge his adversaries but only if you donate your insulin money by clicking the link in my bio…” and shit.

This shit is everywhere. Because it works. And also because conventional tactics for building support, loyal, unwavering support, don’t work for a party that doesn’t actually stand for anything, and sure as shit ain’t compelled by the notion of “helping others” or “public service.”

Mike Johnson is the result of a sustained effort of many faces on many fronts and many re-brands to most effectively and palatably package the same lies — all designed to achieve the same end. A decades-long campaign to infiltrate the systems of society while grabbing a hold of the levers of power, so that white, male Christians can reclaim their “rightful” superiority over all. And they have no intention of letting it slip away from them ever again.

But let’s back up a wee bit and take a little look-see at dutiful “Christian” Mike shall we.

He wrote an op-Ed blaming mass shootings on “Roe v. Wade” and women having “personal choice” in their reproductive health care.