Once, twice, three times indicted…

By - Hillary (hiccup) Clinton

Ok, ok… lemmie get this shit down before I pass out in Bill’s lap from all the fucking Veuve I’ve been all up in for the last whatever the fuck many days it’s been since that orange dumbfuck dumpster fire of a fucking DBAG got indicted, AGAIN!!!! (Oh and dude don’t even go there, I haven’t gone downtown to Bubba’s pleasure town since like the f’ng 90s. The usefulness of that nether region at this Fucking point is to keep my stately head from hitting the not so stately fucking floor ok) but I di..I di… I digest. (Hiccup).

The motherfucker got indicated… no no he got indicted, AGAIN!!!

But liek, like… this time, it’s for trying to LITERALLY steal an election ok!!

And I know, and you Fucking know I know, cuz I know things, that he stole one from me, and that bitch Comey fucking did too and he can eat my… but where was I…?

Who else is old enough to remember when that melted puddle of shitty ass dollar store creamsicle was gonna lock up my LIFETIME OF PUBLIC SERVANTANCE HELLO ass up (I said up twice but it’s fine I know you get the jizz of what I’m lke saying).

I AM!!! I am old enough. I remember, cuz she was me! I was her. We are the SAME PERSON. And let me tell you, it’s not fucking fun to be like the recipient of voicemails from Willy West Virginia all like ‘hey, you sent some emails you C*NT i don’t even remotely understand the story but now I want you to die TRAITOR!!!!’’

That didn’t literally happen because that’s like not a real name but I know we all know that if there’s anyone in the world named like that, it’s there.

West Virginia there. Which is a state. In case you didn’t know.

Speaking of states, I was the secretary of them. All of them. But with no S which is weird since we have like 51, but whatever, it doesn’t matter no one cares.

But he did that and, hold on I might blow chunks… no I’m ok, but here’s the thing… this Fucking guy just keeps finding the fuck out, and I know, I KNOW, I’m supposed be all ‘take the high road blah blah’ but that motherfucker deserves every damn ounce of the karmic retributionitives coming his way. He DID THIS SHIT TO HIMSELF.

Hear me out here… he deserves this shit ok, like Kanye deserved to lose Kim or Kylie or whatever the Fuck Kardashian he was Fucking I have no idea and frankly I don’t fucking care but you take my point.

All the shit he accused ME of… all the fucking “Russia if you’re listening, Vladdy don’t show hookers pissing on me” shit, ALLLLLL of that was perjection!!