Peckers, porn stars, “power” naps & payoffs.

Why the “hush money” trial is about much more than being spanked with a magazine.

The only thing coming out of this Stormy Daniels/Karen McDougal story that looks bigger than it first appeared is the importance of this case against Donald Trump.

And in this instance, size does not actually matter.

While this one ain’t the biggest one in terms of criminality, or abuses of power and it doesn’t carry the most significant penalties of all of his trials, I believe it is bigger than a lot of people who boil it down to just the salacious aspects of it think it is. And don’t get me wrong, those aspects are very fucking worthy of discussion, a toadstool peen, a rolled up magazine and the endurance of blink — yeah, that’s gold Jerry… gold.

But of all the cases, this one sets the table. This one makes the patterns plain. This one establishes what we’ve all long-since known about the guy… he will do anything, literally anything to benefit and enrich himself personally. To protect himself, to insulate himself from the truth of his actions and the consequences which can, often do, and frankly SHOULD always, accompany them.

This one going first is fitting to my mind, because it starts the thread which weaves his many charges in the many jurisdictions together. And that’s important in so far as it helps the larger public begin to make those connections and gives them the framework to follow that through line all the way up to January 6th.

The same fucking guy who has been whining incessantly about “election interference” and “rigged” this and “stollen” that (as it’s written Trumphonetically), in elections he both lost AND won for YEARS, is actually the biggest interferer, rigger, and stealer of all time.

And just as he cheated on Melania with Stormy and Karen, he cheated the American people out of a free, fair and TRANSPARENT election. He cheated the voters out of the truth, the trashy whole truth. And he did so illegally.

And as we carry that thread through to the Georgia case or the January 6th case, or even the stolen documents case, where I would argue, we’d likely learn there was in fact some political benefit to him keeping the specific documents he kept if we didn’t have a Trump loyalist throwing chewed gum into the works every other day, it becomes abundantly clear that this pattern of self-serving anti-Democratic criminality is just what he does. It’s who he is. It’s his whole vibe to borrow a phrase from the kids who borrowed it from us when we were kids and not old people they roll their eyes at and mock because we still have side parts and wear skinny jeans in the year 2024 and they say “omg mom how are you so lame”, and you think, “am I lame? How did I get so lame? I used to be cool. Maybe I wasn’t. Holy shit, my whole life is a lie.” but I digress.

It’s really quite simple — there are no rules when it comes to him getting what he wants, and if there are, who the fuck cares, break them and deal with it later. Just so long as you continue to bring the cult along for the ride to the point where no matter what they learn about your awfulness, they either refuse to believe it, don’t care, or think it makes you even more of a patriot family man devout Christian dog lover blah blah than you already were. (See: cult).

One other key is to make sure there are people under you who are willing to get their hands dirty for you, because you’re going to need to throw some red meat at the accountability seekers, hoping it will be enough to keep them from ultimately coming for you.

Although, as we have seen, over time, over lots and lots and LOTS of time, those eventually flame out, and then you’re the only one left to come for (and no, I don’t mean that euphemistically because I don’t think anyone is coming for thar fucker anymore if they ever truly did).

This case is about Trump using Michael Cohen and David Pecker to make two affairs go bye bye. Back in those simpler times, these stories might have been the end for him. Not so much today of course, because that was a million trillion years ago in the realm of “political norms” as it pertains to the party of Reagan.

Fresh on the heels of the Access Hollywood tape I’ll forever maintain should have been the final straw, but inexplicably then, unsurprisingly now, wasn’t, he was undoubtedly worried that two of the women he’d had affairs with in the past would talk. And he knew enough to know that they needed to not talk, if he had a shot to win.

So, Pecker did what he was supposed to do which was to catch and kill their stories, and Cohen did what he was supposed to do, which was to pay them off while making it look like it was a campaign expense.

And the voting public was deprived of learning that the “grab em by the pussy” guy wasn’t just making “locker room” talk on that bus. He was a real-life low-life. Shocker, huh?

And Trumpworld thought they were in the clear. They were oh so clever to outsmart the world. Of course, we all know how that turned out.

Because as of yesterday, that motherfucker has to sit his orange ass down in a courtroom just like any other criminal defendant, as the many years later trial for the origin story election interference case (better to frame it that way in general) he thought he’d never see, gets underway.

And what that barely two-day old trial has already revealed about his courtroom demeanor when he can’t just skip in and out, has been absolutely fucking hysterical to behold.

He can’t manage to stay awake. Like really, really can’t. Like, is this fucking guy ok? Should we call a doctor? Get him a Twinkie?

PSA: If your go-to derogatory nickname for your opponent includes the word “sleepy”, you basically have one fucking job.