Proud Boys… Stand back and stand by… for some really long-ass prison terms.

Not so “tough” now are they?

Just as a personal aside… holy shit has “back to school” kicked my Jersey ass… you’d think as a result of my kids being 13 and 10, that I’d be sailing into back to school like a seasoned pro, a shopping list in one hand, a Bento box packed lunch of artisan cheeses, homemade sourdough bread made from my great grandmother’s world famous starter, brown rice and non gmo garden grown vegetables in the other, but instead I’m stumbling around with the artist formerly known as “iced” coffee in one hand, and a hummus wrap hastily consumed in the car smudged cellphone on 2% battery because of the 14.75 different goddamn sports apps all pinging me at the same Fucking time about some bullshit practice updates in the other hand.

I feel like I opened a closet door somewhere and was instantly buried by a landslide of graphing notebooks, baseball bats, soccer socks, cheer bows, highlighters, chocolate milk, Sharpies and glue sticks. So. Many. Fucking. Glue. Sticks. And just as I began to dig myself out, a damn clarinet rental bonked me on the head.

So, I apologize for being less active in my posts the last few days. I’m finally starting to climb out of the “do we REALLY NEED all this shit” (the answer is always NO) debris field. And boy am I glad for that (I say as I pen this essay after an hour and a half at the middle school back to school night where I played a fun little “which of my kids’ teachers are Trumpers” game in my head. The answer is MOST of them to be honest).

All of that said… you know who isn’t going to have to worry about the stresses of back to school for a long, long while?

Joe Biggs. Ehem, forgive me… FORMER Proud Boys Lieutenant, leader of the Florida chapter of the bearded bros hate group… Joe Biggs.

That motherfucker is gonna be begging for conjugal visits with a stick of Elmer’s and an extra-credit poster featuring examples of at least 4 different types of clouds just to feel “normal” again. Even if it’s only for that one fleeting, let the glue dry and pick it off your fingers, blissfully sticky moment in time.