The House GOP is a chaos machine.

Which coincidentally, appears to be the point.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, step right up to the dysfunctional, the exhausting, the great big middle finger to America Chaos Conference circus!

(I’m actually starting to feel bad for clowns for the constant comparison). At some point we’re going to have to give clowns a new name, because they can’t be tethered for eternity to the calamity craving Qrackheads running around the House like it’s a Penn State frat party and they’re 8 shotgunned Natty Lights into the night and about to puke into some extremely questionable queso-dip, but I digress.

It is entirely likely that Senator Bob Menendez (I’m so very proud) was acting as an agent of Egypt while chairing the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, and thanks to the three-ring circus of crazy that is the House GOP’s dumpster fire of dysfunction, it’s not even the top story on the news.

The Fucking Foreign Relations Committee!!

It’s all akin to a daycare worker trying to tell the boss that the fridge storing the snacks and milk just stopped working and it’s very, very bad and they need to fix it while the boss is being pelted with dirty diaper hand grenades from hangry toddlers looking for a goddamn cheese stick.

The point is that it’s a Fucking mess. And the grown-ups can’t do their fucking jobs because a bunch of asshole babies want their motherfucking cosmic cherry Go-gurts right Fucking now or they’ll burn the whole place to the ground so help them.

And all of this dysfunction is unfolding of course, as our foreign partners across the globe contend with brutally horrific, humanitarian rights violating war crimes against their people.

Frankly, the current chaotic self-inflicted crippling of half of our Legislative Branch makes that snack-less daycare center look competent by comparison.

It took 15 votes of pure insanity and self castration to get Kevin McCarthy that fucking gavel. And he only got it because he agreed that they could take it away the second he didn’t heel, and then they went ahead and did just that very thing. Because the truth is that unless the Speaker is willing to abide by creating more chaos, they don’t want or need a Speaker at all.

Matt Gaetz, and his merry band of burn it all down Bros (along with Chester Prynne herself) Nancy Mace,

aren’t interested in “leadership”, they already have a “leader” (frankly what Mace is doing in the mix tells you exactly how craven she is, but I digress).

Their leader is the one term, twice impeached, 4 time indicted, 91 times charged, liable for sexual abuse and business fraud Florida Man with the hands, appetite, disposition, diapering and intellect of an over-tired toddler, who wants nothing more than to dismantle the very House he tried to destroy from the outside-in… only this time, from the inside-out.