Tweedle I Didn’t Do That and Tweedle I Don’t Know Nothing.

Eric doubled down on being the dumbest and Don Jr. is just a “money and numbers are so confusing”, damsel in distress.

The family that crimes together, lies under oath together.

In case you somehow missed it, the Trump “family” Criminal Syndicate Court Date Tour is currently playing their New York City leg, and boy oh boy, have the performances this week been SOMETHING else folks.

After weeks of watching the same repetitive, low energy and totally overrated accordion-hands “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain” matinee performances from the show’s Adderall-riddled, pumpkin-poached, septuagenarian star, this week, thanks to sagging ratings (and a hefty bit of brotherly book cooking), we finally got some fresh faces added to the cast.

Dumb and Dumber — the poison, fallen fruit from the Dotard tree in all their nepotistic, stupid spoiled-white-boy, unresolved daddy issues, willfully ignorant glory.

Don Jr came in defiant, but also apparently, and exceedingly unsurprisingly, seeking validation from a stern, emotionless old man in a position of authority (no, not his Parkay-stained sperm donor, because much like all of his children’s soccer games and Christmas concerts, births and birthday parties, he wasn’t there), in this case, it was the Judge.

Post-testimony, Donnie-Desperate-for-Daddy’s-affection remarked that the Judge seemed to find him to be “funny.”

I don’t think the Judge finds any of this amusing in the least, after all, he’s already made determinations as to liability, and he knows they’re all egregiously corrupt motherfuckers, but I know for sure that the of the rest of us find all of this funny as fuck.

Not the ‘laughs with” kind of funny, but much more so in the “laughs at” kind of funny, but I digress…

For all his years of endless droning on and on in that coke-eroded septum whiny voice of his about his ‘business acumen’, and about how he and his siblings were so ‘proud’ to take over the family business once daddy-two-scoops, with the help of a fella named Vlad, managed to get his nasty little Vienna sausage fingers on the most powerful politcal office on the planet earth… once under oath, the strangest thing happened… all of the sudden, Don Jr. didn’t seem to know anything related to the business. Nothing.

Far less flashy handed and air-quotey than he is on his argument for an intervention podcast “Triggered”, suddenly Donnie was completely clueless about the company’s finances.