What is a woman?

If you’re asking it means you don’t know and you don’t care to know.

Like basement dwelling incels to a repro tweet… if you post it they will come.

From the top of Mt. Dumbfuck the war horn of gaslighting blows and the MAGA “gotcha” question of the century is once again unleashed upon the masses…

PatriotHungLikeABellyButton1455838272: “You can’t even define what a woman is!!”

SLEEPYJoesGotBreadHarderThanMe🇺🇸: “You think there are 587,432 genders!”

2AMyDickMakesSkinTagsLookHuge95647🦅: “DEFINE WHAT A WOMAN IS!!!!”

My dudes, put the baby oil and the Diddy mix tape down, find a safe space in your ammosexual “I’m a man yes I am, no, no, I really am, wait wait why are you running away” cave, and listen up, because I’m all out of puppets and crayons, you’re all out of socks, and your second-hand sex-doll is in the shop. Again.

You see, I don’t need to explain what a woman is to you anymore than I need to explain what a tricycle is to a hamster. The hamster’s brain is about the size of a sunflower seed and it’s never gonna ride a fucking tricycle.

And even if I wanted to try to explain this shit to you, which I very much don’t, there’s simply not one single answer I could ever give you that would even come close to saying it all.

We are vast. We contain multitudes.

Not that you care.

I know what I am, I try to understand what I’m not, and even that changes daily. Just about every woman I know is the same.

Actually, not a single woman I know is “definable” by a handful of metrics established by someone else (almost always a man).

My anatomy is a part of my story, it’s part of who I am, but it doesn’t define me any more than the bathroom you use at a football game defines you.

An Italian sub and a PB&J are both sandwiches, but if I asked you to describe them to someone would you stop after noting they both featured slices of bread?

So, what is a woman? Do you know? Can you tell me?

Is a 17 year old girl a woman?

If we are discussing women’s rights she is.

If we are discussing getting a credit card and taking out loans she’s not.

If we are only talking about menstruation she might be.

If we are talking about dosages of medicine for children, women and men, she most likely is.

If we are talking about sex, she’s not.

There’s enough information readily available online for even the layman to know the definition isn’t nearly as simple as someone's genitalia or their ability to give birth. Some women are born without either.

And yet, Sen. Josh Hawley claimed a woman is “someone who can give birth to a child” and “someone who has a uterus.”

But when asked whether a woman who has a hysterectomy is still a woman, Hawley said he didn’t know.

He didn’t KNOW?!?!? Blaspheme! RINO!

Their question of course, is ridiculous on its face, and it was originally intended to (and is still used to) make the “argument” that trans-women weren’t women based upon their definition of what a woman is, which as evidenced by Fist Pumper Hawley, not even they can fully articulate.

But now, as is so typical of their special sub-species of super stupid, the question has morphed into the MAGAnese “Aloha”, and so now any mention of anything even tangentially “woman” related triggers the Pavlovian response that is this “idea” that we can’t talk about women because we can’t “define” women.

And while the Brotherhood of the Blissfully Unenlightened may wear their ignorance as a badge of honor, this question is intended to do tremendous harm. To the transgender community first and foremost. But to all women as well.

Even more than that, it’s meant to discredit the validity of our collective reality.

When I post something about Amber Thurman being left to die in a Georgia hospital bed because they would not give her abortion care, they reply with this “define a woman” shit. Because what they don’t want me talking about is the truth of what happened to her. What was done to her. If they can make it seem as though the messenger cannot “define” something as seemingly black-and-white as what a woman is, then they can dismantle every argument I make about anything related to women.

Or so they think.

They don’t even have a point really, and they don’t care. They just want to walk into your nice little shop and break shit. They want to break shit and make a mess and upset people and spoil the day. That’s it. They want us going down these pointless rabbit holes instead of focusing on the truth.

They don’t want us talking about the fact that three state Republican Attorneys General filed a complaint in federal court arguing that their states have a right to pregnant teenagers and that right is being violated by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.

Yes, really.

They don’t want us talking about the fact that in red state after red state in this country since Dobbs, OB/GYN’s are leaving in droves. They don’t want us talking about the fact that these healthcare deserts don’t just impact pregnant women. That means no Pap smears and no cancer screenings. It means a lot of women of all ages across the political spectrum don’t have access to basic healthcare anymore because of the abortion bans in place.

They don’t want us talking about Amber Thurman or Kate Cox or Amanda Zurawski.

They want us tying ourselves into knots of our own making by taking the bro bullshit bait of their distractionpalooza agenda.

But as is always the case, there’s something more insidious going on here as well.

They keep trying to challenge us to define what a woman is while they’re the ones who are trying to erase us at the very same time.

You don’t care about the definition of what a woman is if you’ll let her die in a hospital parking lot because the baby she is carrying in her belly is no longer viable and is killing her.

You don’t care about the definition of what a woman is if you’ll file charges against a man for the abuse of an unborn fetus but not for the woman who was beaten while carrying that fetus.

You don’t care about what the definition of a woman is if you threaten to repeal our right to vote, insist we stay in abusive marriages, or force a 10-year-old rape victim to deliver her rapist’s baby.

You don’t care about the definition of a woman is if you can in good conscience, vote for a sexual predator who has bragged about grabbing women by the pussy and been found liable of sexual abuse. A man who brags about stripping us of a 50 year held right. The guy who said he would punish women who had abortions.

You don’t care about what the definition of a woman is if your answer to something she articulates is “make me a sandwich.”

Although I happen to make a mean fucking sandwich but I digress.

Look, I have an 11-year-old daughter. When she was born, women and girls all over this country had the benefit of a right we no longer have. And as her mom, I’m now looking around at a world in which her future as a woman looks increasingly bleak and terrifying.

When we hold our babies in our arms, we promise them so many things. We promise to keep them safe and warm, fed and housed. We promise to nurture them and love them, support them and encourage them. We promise to fill their cups with confidence, fortitude, resilience, and strength. We promise to leave this world better for them than we found it. We promise them a world in which they can be themselves and succeed. A world in which doing the right thing matters. Where being a good person matters. Where respect and dignity matter. Where autonomy matters, freedom matters and democracy matters.

Where their voices matter.

I made these promises to my little baby girl all those years ago. I am far less interested in defining what her womanhood “means” to some shithead man then I am and learning the kind of woman she’ll become.

I call her my little Hurricane. Because she is a force of nature already. Her spirit burns as brightly as the sun. She is tough and fierce and independent, smart, funny, and kind.

She stands up to bullies. She’s a fighter.

And I refuse to force her to grow up in a world where she is subjugated and oppressed. I’m a fighter too, and you can bet your ass I’m gonna fight to protect her from that.

A woman is whatever the hell she wants to be.

We get to decide. Knowing that, and embodying that, and fighting to be able to do that, is part of what being a woman means.

And sooner or later, fingers crossed on sooner, you losers who want us to define who we are and what we’re worth, will figure it out.

In the meantime, go make me a fucking sandwich.