Why exactly would Biden need to “cheat” to win?

Yeah MAGA, he’s “scared” of Trump. Ok.

In the traitorous trifle of dumbfuckery that is the MAGA “mindset”, it is this one thing that may just be the most dumbfuckiest of all. This utterly asinine underlying assertion on which their entire tainted confection of batshit crazy, Fascist Projectionpalooza is built — that Joe Biden is “doing” all of this “TO Trump” because he’s “afraid of him.”

Because he “knows he will lose to him.”

And I gotta say, even in the sea of endless stupid that is MAGA (frankly the entire Republican Party, because at this point they ARE ALL MAGA) this one, almost more than any other, truly exemplifies their special brand of Herculean hypocrisy, incessant idiocy and boundless bafoonery.

Although, admittedly “he’s getting indicted for YOU”, while a companion piece to “they’re trying to stop him”, is a very close second.

Now, look — I too lived through the hellish nightmare that was the 2016 election. My kids found me on the bathroom floor in a puddle of melted mascara and copious amounts of self-medicating red wine. And I KNOW better than to never say never when it comes to that Sunday-sauce-stained son-of-a-bitch, so I’m not going to tell you that there is NO way Trump could somehow win in 2024, but I think it is likely in the same way I think it is likely that my 10 year old daughter, who is admittedly awful at tennis could beat Rafael Nadal, on clay, in straight sets. With a pickle ball racquet. And a wearing a blindfold. While having a stomach bug. And on no sleep. But I digress.

There’s not a zero percent chance, but to my mind it’s not much higher than that, and yes, yes — I thought the email lady was going to win handily, it’s true. But this is not then, Biden is not Hillary and that Donald Trump wasn’t yet swimming up to his Addy Daddy’d eyeballs in 4 indictments and 91 charges with even more looming on the Katie Hobbs horizon.

And he hadn’t yet plotted a coup or incited an insurrection, or Trump’d the ever-living fuck out of a once in a lifetime global pandemic. He hadn’t yet fully blossomed into the Trumpian Stinkhorn mushroom we see before us today.

But now he really has.