Calling it like I see it.

If you’re looking for somebody to be nice to MAGA, that ain’t me.

Lots of “important” establishment folks tell me not to insult MAGA, not to call them names, not to “punch down”, and while this won’t likely come as a surprise to anyone who knows me, on the scale of “1 to I don’t give a motherfucking fuck”, I’m well past 11.

We lost the Senate, we did not retake the House, and a goddamn traitor, rapist, felon, business crook abomination of a “human being” is moving his saggy, stupid, septuagenarian, Putin dick-sucking ass back into OUR house.

And we lost in part, because a whole bunch of people who have been running shit and making decisions since the goddamn gold rush, refused to step aside and let the people who don’t remember when dinosaurs walked the earth run this shit.

So, as far as it pertains to me taking their not-so-fucking sage “advice” on what to say and how to say it, my fuck tree is all the fuck out of fruit.

If they actually fucking beleive that my disdain for those addlepated dumbfucks pushed a single fucking one of them into the arms of the “sharks and batteries” forty minute long brain freeze felon, they can kiss my Jersey ass.

To call maga a few sandwiches short of a picnic is about as nice a thing as I can muster.

Those fucking troglodytes are the reason we have warning labels. They could throw themselves on the ground and miss. They are the kind of stupid that if you left them alone for too long, they’d probably set water on fire. The wheel is spinning, but the hamster is long fucking dead. Even their smartest cult members are about as sharp as a sock full of soup.

And you know what, I am just gonna say it. Maybe in part, because it makes me feel better, and maybe, just maybe because it needs to be said.

Trump voters don’t like it when I call them idiots, and you’ll be surprised to learn that I don’t actually give a flying fuck if they like it or not.

Because, if you voted for the guy who golfed while thousands of Americans died a day and said “it is what it is” when asked because he “cares about your safety”, you are an idiot.

If you voted for the guy who handed a massive tax cut to the richest of the rich and in so doing, saddled our country with the third largest amount of debt we’ve ever had because he was “strong on the economy”, you are an idiot.

If you voted for the guy who was the WORST jobs president since Hoover because he will “lower unemployment”, you are an idiot.

If you voted for the guy who’s going to slap 25% tariffs on goods coming from our neighbors to the north and south, not to mention China, because you think he will lower prices, you are an idiot.

If you voted for the guy who overturned Roe Vs Wade because the government has no business mandating what you do with your own body, you are an idiot.

If you voted for the guy who is going to pull us out of NATO and hand Ukraine to Putin because you remember what our country’s greatest generation fought and died for, you are an idiot.

If you voted for the guy who stole classified documents, lied about them, showed them to his pals, and hid them in his fucking bathroom, because you care about our national security, you are an idiot.

If you voted for the guy who is going to deport all of the low income immigrants who work the jobs white people refuse to, because you thought he was going to help your farm, meat processing plant or construction business spend less and make more, you are an idiot.

If you voted for the guy who is going to repeal the Affordable Care Act with no replacement, because you thought your preexisting condition was covered under OBAMACARE, you are an idiot.

If you voted for the thrice married, serial philandering, sexual assault bragging, racist, sexist, xenophobe who mocked a disabled reporter and made fun of a man’s stutter, because you care about decency, you are an idiot.

If you voted for the heathen who spends his Sundays worshipping at Our Lady of the Perpetual Mulligan and can’t cite a single passage from the Bibles he’s selling because you think he is devout, you are an idiot.

If you voted for the “suckers” and “losers” five time draft dodger who tried and failed to gut the VA because you support our troops, you are an idiot.

If you voted for the guy who said he’d make Mexico pay for the wall, when they didn’t, bring manufacturing back, when he didn’t, pass an infrastructure bill, when he didn’t, end the opioid crisis, when he didn’t, drain the swamp, when he didn’t, or “make America great again” when he didn’t even in the least, you are an idiot.

If you voted for the felon, business fraud because your pro-law and order, you are an idiot.

If you voted for the adjudicated rapist because you’re the party of family values, you are an idiot.

If you voted for the guy who incited a deadly attack on our Capitol in order to stay in the office he was voted out of because you care about democracy, you are an idiot.

If you voted for the guy who is promising to be a dictator on day one because you think our country could really use one of those and that you and your high school level education and shitty job and miserable fucking existence will somehow end up on top of Mt. Oligarch and not on the bottom with the rest of your MAGA flag flying pals, you are an idiot.

If you’re a girl dad who voted for a man who has been found liable of sexual abuse and has surrounded himself with a sea of unrepentant, unapologetic sexual offenders because you want to protect your daughter, you are an idiot.

If you think he’s not going to do all the truly terrible things he’s promising, or even worse, that you’re hoping he does - you are a fucking idiot.

And you don’t have to like me saying that, but it doesn’t make it any less fucking true.

Oh, and since I’m here, one more thing for our counterparts on the other side…

(Naughty and nice versions).