“Protect” us?

I don’t f’ng think so.

In case you missed the latest distractionpalooza from the yam-dyed dumbfuck — in between filming infomercials for his tacky as fuck $100,000 watches (because if that doesn’t scream “man of the people”, nothing does), the convicted felon rapist traitor has been trying out an all new line of gaslighting bullshit.

At a recent campaign rally in Pennsylvania he said this:

“You will no longer be in danger. … You will no longer have anxiety from all of the problems our country has today. You will be protected, and I will be your protector.”

The fuck he will. That’s akin to thinking a plugged in toaster would protect you in a bubble bath.

If my options for “protector” were between Donald Trump and a rabid, sex-starved, STD riddled Mountain Lion with a barbed penis and fetish for mouthy, fake blondes, I’m going big hangry thorn-dick kitty every damn time.

I would feel safer dangling from the side of the Empire State Building in the middle of a cat 5 hurricane than I would sitting next to that motherfucker in a car for 5 minutes. I’d feel more “protected” by a tinfoil hat in an electrical storm than I’d feel around his pussy grabbing lil’ smokie fingers. I’d feel safer rolling the dice on a two day old hot car tuna salad sandwich, safer subway surfing the D train while drunk and blindfolded, safer covered in caramel on top of a fire ant hill, I’d feel more “protected” having unprotected sex with Russel fucking Brand than I would feel around Gropey McTicTac.

Ok, that last one was a lie, I would not in fact feel any sort of protection not using protection with anyone least of which that fucking guy, but I was riffing and I thought, fuck it let’s just go for it and, well, now I’m riddled with regret for even putting that grim possibility out there into the universe, but I digress…

You see, while I know damn well that this shit is all designed to make me and a million trillion women like me, scream and shout, stomp our feet and throw shit, I kinda don’t give a fuck. Not at least for the moment. Sometimes you just need to slap a wandering hand away. And sometimes you gotta kick the owner of said hand in the nuts. I’m in the mood to do both.

He wants us outraged over this ridiculousness so we’re not talking about what an epic fucking disaster he has been and would continue to be for women (the nation and the world), but this ain’t our first rodeo and he can’t just dangle some outrage porn over there on stage left and think we’re all gonna go running.

We’re too fucking smart for that shit, and he’s way too fucking stupid to realize it, so the way I’m gonna thread this poison-tipped needle is to respond WHILE highlighting why his comments, his behavior, his record and his promises PROVE that he ain’t anyone’s “protector”.

You see, as a result of the three SCOTUS Justices the Federalist Society picked for him to appoint and their assistance in overturning Roe Vs Wade, women are a whole fucking lot less protected in our country than they were a few short years ago.

In fact, they’re dying in record numbers.

We don’t have all the data from all the red states where the bans are in place yet, but we do have Texas, where Abbott’s awfulness put the people of his state ahead of the forced birth pack when he implemented an extreme ban there ahead of Dobbs.

Think of Texas as a dystopian future crystal ball showing us every state where abortion is now banned. Because the maternal mortality rate there skyrocketed under the ban by 56%.

There may be a “life of the mother” exception on paper, but exceptions clearly don’t work, because over and over and over again, the life that does end up being lost — is hers.

We know countless stories now about women having to flee their own state for emergency care. For lifesaving care. They’re the “lucky” ones. Countless others are simply dying.

“Leave it up to the states” Trump did that. And we’re learning more and more about other states like Georgia, where Amber Nicole Thurman died a completely preventable death because she was denied care for 20 hours.

We also know that in those red states with bans, there have been nearly 70,000 pregnancies resulting from rape. That’s a handful of states, in just two years. And that number includes the many cases where the rape victim was herself, a child. Think about that.

And if the Heritage Foundation gets their Project 2025 manifesto of madness implemented under the pussy grabber, what we’re seeing in Texas and Georgia and Idaho and every other red state, will be nationwide. It will be everywhere. There won’t be any safe blue states to turn to. So, for those of us living here in New Jersey where people like me are able to get a D&C when we miscarry, that won’t be the case anymore. Not for me. Not for my daughter. Not for any woman or anyone’s daughter. Women will be dying from ectopic pregnancies and miscarriages like we’re living in the fucking 1700s.

That sure as shit doesn’t make me feel “protected.” You?

Not only shouldn’t an adjudicated rapist who brags about sexual assault be anyone’s “protector”, if he gets in office, the government will start tracking our menstrual cycles, and our travel in a federal database. “Honey, don’t forget to put that last period you had in the tracker otherwise the pregnancy police will pull us over on our drive to Disney World.”

They will ban contraception and IVF, sex-Ed will be gone everywhere, gynecologists will be learning macrame instead and while the government is handing AR-15s to every Tom Dick and Harry Beats his wife, they’ll end no-fault divorce too.

Gee, that shit doesn’t make me feel super “protected.” You?

But don’t worry, they’ll also dismantle the public school system and unless you’re lucky enough to be able to drive your kids four hours each way to the one charter school in your state that is open, assuming you don’t mind the religious indoctrination Susie will be subjected to, then your wee ones will be learning their 1-2-3s and A-B-Cs while working all the manual labor jobs the immigrants used to do before they were all mass deported regardless of their status.

You know, I’m starting to feel less and less “protected” by the minute.

And all of this will be in place with the psychopathic sociopathic serial sexual predator who golfed while hundreds of thousands of our loved ones were dying at the “helm.” His power unchecked, his vengeance fueled, his retributive fixations fed.

I’m pretty sure he’s not gonna have a lot of free time on those teeny tiny hands for much “protecting.”

He’s gonna be far too busy making all of us pay for his depravity. Too busy enjoying all of that “Day one dictator-ing” in the years he has left before the Addy, the saccharin or the hamberder grease finally does him in.

Donald Trump‘s malevolence is palpable now, can you imagine it without any constraints?

He will inflict as much harm as he can on every one of us for as long as he can. He cannot be a “protector” because inherently, he is a predator.

Even him saying that he would “protect” women was predatory. It’s the kind of gaslighting domestic abusers employ. “I know I hit you, but you see, I had to. I did it FOR you. To keep you from hurting yourself or someone else, you see. I do it to protect you.”

We’ve seen everything there is to see about Donald Trump at this point. And we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is the last person on the planet who would protect us.

But if there is one thing we actually DO need protecting from… it’s him.

And Kamala Harris is about to do just that.

Oh, and by the way Teeny-peen McNeckfupa protect this. 👇