The definition of insanity.

Trusting Trump with your life is suicide.

Sorry I’m just getting to this post now… but what with all those in-school second grader sex changes I have to perform, and controlling all those hurricanes so they target, you know… Democrats AND Republicans (still getting the hang of that dang ‘cane gun), it’s hard enough to find the time to get my daily abortion AND charge my electric vehicle, let alone sit down and chronicle my day as a triple-voting, kitty-litter box peeing, Marxist, Socialist, Communist and ladder-climbing, drug addicted, child-abandoning, America-hating, super-slut.

Navigating all of those expectations has been a real struggle for me emotionally because my Feminazi friends keep going to those pizza place basement sex cabal potlucks, and I’m up here, snoozing on the best damn spinach dip recipe you’ll ever have, because I’m too busy making sure 7 year old Johnny remembers to call himself Jane at post-op/recess.

It’s been hard. But thanks to the support of my fellow furries (I see you Bob aka “Bluey from Binghamton”) and the mountains of meth I have for breakfast every day (does meth “mountain” I honestly have no idea), I finally feel ready today to share a few thoughts and observations regarding what’s been going on out there in that great big crazy world of ours.

So, I’ve been giving all of this a great deal of thought and I wanted to choose my words carefully. I want to be extremely deliberate in what I say because as we all know (just ask Megan McCain’s hair stylist on The View), that you’re only asking for trouble when you leave things open to interpretation. So, to that end, I’ll aim to be as concise in my comments as possible.

So, here goes…

Has everyone out there lost their motherfucking goddamn are you shitting me with this right now, maybe they’re high and drunk and possibly rabid, minds?!?!

You know I’m not talking about you guys, right? Just to clarify, even if you are insane, you’re my kind of insane, which is not at all the kind of insane I’m referencing here, although that kind of insane often makes us feel like maybe our kind of insane is somehow less sane than we thought it was, but I digress.

While Donald Trump is out there intentionally and malevolently lying his aspic-filled fucking face off about FEMA and the Biden/Harris administration’s response to some of the most catastrophic hurricanes we’ve ever seen, we’re also learning that during the height of the pandemic, while our loved ones were dying from Covid because supplies were scarce, the Tomato-sauce-stained-sociopath supposedly at the “helm”, was sending critical Covid testing to…

Russia. Yes, Russia.

Well, not to some distant relative bába in Siberia, more specifically — directly to his tinkle tape daddy, Vladimir Putin.

He was letting Americans die here, letting their bodies pile up in refrigerator trucks here, letting doctors and nurses die HERE while trying to save others… while sending what they all needed to stay alive… to our enemy.

The same enemy who had helped him win the 2016 election. That very same enemy. The one who would very much like it if American democracy would fall, because that would make his “grab ‘em by the parcel” approach to world domination a helluva lot easier.

Our Putin-puppet so-called “president” was sending potentially life-saving and in extremely short supply testing kits to our nemesis at the expense of the lives of those we love during the height of a once-in-a-lifetime global pandemic.

A pandemic by the way, which his infamously and inexplicably egregious mismanagement of had already exacerbated.

Does that seem disqualifying to you, because as far as I see it, letting our loved ones die to appease PUTIN, puts you on the “no fucking way should you ever be president again” list. And yes, being a twice impeached, adjudicated rapist, business fraud and convicted felon who incited a deadly attack on our Capitol has long since put his saggy ass on that list, ok, fine, he’s always been on that list — but if we suspend reality for a second (which we can’t), and none of that did disqualify him (which it does) this sure as shit would.

Well, for those of us over here on Team Still Firing Synapses anyway.

This is as bad as it gets folks. So far beyond the pale it’s hard to even fathom it possible.

Setting aside the fact that he’s had at least 7 private phone calls with Putin from his gilded golf motel (Logan Act anyone), and the fact that he’s said to have asked Vlad if he should keep arming our ALLY Ukraine, what I keep coming back to, is the fact that no one, literally no one, NO ONE who doesn’t have a death wish or a really bad addiction to the rush of near death experiences at the hands of the super stupid, should trust this psychopathic motherfucker with their lives.

To trust him with that is akin to committing suicide.

It’s not just that he doesn’t care if people die, which he doesn’t, it’s that he so often sees death and suffering as opportunities. A chance to attack his opponents, attack institutions, attack science, facts and truth itself. And that’s when he isn’t just shrugging it off entirely. His interactions with our national suffering get the upgrade of his attention, only when they can somehow help HIM.

We didn’t even need this fucked up “Do you like me more now Vlad that I’ll let my own people die for you?” shit to know that Trump doesn’t care if any of us lives or dies. We have always known this.

He lied over and over again about Covid as it was. He told Bob Woodward he knew it was a “killer” while he was telling people here it would “disappear like a miracle.” He was tweeting about “liberating” states with mask mandates when he knew damn well that it wasn’t safe to open everything up.

He was making it harder for people here to test while telling those very same people not to abide by public health measures.

He went golfing as we hit 50,000 Covid deaths, and then shrugged when Jonathon Swan asked him how he felt about 1,000 of us dying a day.

“It is what it is.” He said.

He politicized public health measures because he thrives on chaos. When things are unsteady, and people are uncertain, he slides in and says “he’s the only one they can trust.” Even when he’s the one who’s hurting them the most.

The fact that he’s deliberately lying about the government doing nothing for the folks who have been devastated by storms is not surprising. This likely freak-off frequent flyer fuck needs the chaos. He needs the confusion. He needs for the smooth-brains he disdains to trust him above all else.

More than their own eyes and ears.

He told them not to trust public health experts during a pandemic, he told them not to trust poll workers during an election, and now he’s telling them not to trust FEMA in the midst of an historically devastating hurricane season.

He doesn’t care that it’s going to get more people killed. He needs the lie far more than he would ever want to protect them, which by the way, is not at all.

I know this because I cooked up those storms right here in my kitchen in between bites of that spinach dip I didn’t get to bring to the goat sacrifice sex party, but those storms we sent actually impacted a whole lot of his voters.

They are suffering. They’ve lost everything. They need help. They need it badly.

And what is he doing? He’s lying to them. He’s making life much harder for them. He is amplifying their pain for his own personal gain.

It’s grotesque. Just imagine how depraved one would have to be to operate that way?

We don’t have to guess though. We know it very well by now. We know it devastatingly well by now. Irrevocably well.

What we do have to imagine however I’m afraid, is what a madman like him might do with that lack of basic humanity, that disregard for human life, that serial killer kind of sociopathy, if he is handed the reins of unchecked, unrivaled, unmitigated, unimaginable power.

Because as terrifying as that is to even consider, we have to consider it. Because if we don’t win this fucking thing, that will be something we’re forced not just to contemplate, but to contend with.

None of us will be safe under a second Trump term. Not his supporters. Not his minions. Not his family. No one. He doesn’t have the capacity to consider anyone else’s safety but his own, let alone the collective of the American people. Far worse than that though, is the fact that there isn’t a human being on the planet, other than Putin anyway, whose life he wouldn’t trade for his own benefit.

Again, none of this is stuff we have to guess at.

He wanted to shoot protesters in the legs. Wanted to shoot migrants in the legs.

He put kids in motherfucking cages.

What he could and likely would do while surrounded with yes men and handed a blank check to bludgeon… would be worse than anything we’ve ever known.

I for one ain’t sticking around for any of that shit.

So, let’s make sure he loses shall we?

Let’s vote like our lives depend on it.

Because they very much fucking do.

And as for the hardcore MAGA who will tell you that I’m the one lying, I say this:

How sad it must be believing that scientists, scholars, historians, economists, and journalists have devoted their entire lives to deceiving you, while a reality TV star with decades of fraud and exhaustively documented lying is your only beacon of truth and honesty.

Especially when he’s the one you should fear the most. The one who will hurt you the fastest.

So very fucking sad.